Listen, living in Atlanta isn’t easy. Between the horrible traffic, all of the people that are from other cities rooting for other teams like the filthy Saints taking over the Georgia Dome, the suburban gym-bros wearing flat brimmed Nationals caps and Affliction t-shirts because ‘get swole brah’, and the factory of sadness that Atlanta sports has become, we all need an outlet*. An outlet to place the bleak, wintry sadness that infects Atlanta sports fans’ hearts on display.
Fear no more, for Grundel Punch is your outlet. With our high-quality garments crafted by the most neck-bearded artisanal craftsmen in the woods of North Dakota**, you can don your burlap garments of sports misery and curl up in the fetal position next to your couch, crying into your whiskey as you consume the last 3 or 4 Double Stuf Oreos that you opened only 10 minutes prior and stress-ate as your team of choice blew another game***.
So revel in your Atlanta Sports sadness. Take comfort in the slowly shaken heads as you trudge by them on the sidewalk in defeat on gameday. Purchase many of our shirts so you can display your nihilistic self-abuse to all of your friends and family. Remember - artisans with beards, leather aprons, and tools from the 1800s constructed these with the tears of orphans, organic hummus, and sustainably-sourced gluten-free rice paper****, so at least you can self-flagellate in an enlightened fashion.
***well, that’s what we do
****definitely not true but would be hilarious if so